Samuel Butler

To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
- Samuel Butler

Lily Tomlin

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."
- Lily Tomlin

Buddha

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.
- Buddha

James Whistler

I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring.
- James Whistler

Don Herold

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
- Don Herold

Gracie Allen

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
- Gracie Allen

Woodrow Wilson

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
- Woodrow Wilson

E. B. White

Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.
- E. B. White

Friedrich Schiller

Every true genius is bound to be naive.
- Friedrich Schiller

Georg C. Lichtenberg

Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
- Georg C. Lichtenberg

Dolly Parton

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton

Sigmund Freud

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
- Sigmund Freud

H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
- H. L. Mencken

Reinhold Niebuhr

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
- Reinhold Niebuhr

Josh Billings

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
- Josh Billings

Ambrose Bierce

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
- Ambrose Bierce

Bishop George Berkeley

To be is to be perceived (Esse est percipi). Or, If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
- Bishop George Berkeley

Virginia Graham

When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.
- Virginia Graham

Victor Borge

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
- Victor Borge

Clint Eastwood

I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will.
- Clint Eastwood

Hank Aaron

My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.
- Hank Aaron

Satchel Paige

Ain't no man can avoid being born average, but there ain't no man got to be common.
- Satchel Paige

Lawrence Durrell

Travel can be one of the most rewarding forms of introspection.
- Lawrence Durrell

Virgil

"They can conquer who believe they can."
- Virgil

Robert Sexton

"Long after moments of closeness have passed, a part of you remains with me and warms the places your hands have touched and hastens my heart for your return."
- Robert Sexton

Aristotle

Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle

Robert Orben

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.
- Robert Orben

Albert Einstein

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein

Confucius

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Will Rogers

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
- Will Rogers

George Bernard Shaw

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.
- George Bernard Shaw

Mark Twain

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
- Mark Twain