Kin Hubbard

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
- Kin Hubbard

Jim Bishop

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
- Jim Bishop

George Burns

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
- George Burns

James Whistler

If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
- James Whistler

William Goldman

"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."
- William Goldman