W. C. Fields

"A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for."
- W. C. Fields

Robert Zend

Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution.
- Robert Zend

Demetri Martin

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. "Dude make a left." "Those are trees... " "Trust me."
- Demetri Martin

Elbert Hubbard

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
- Elbert Hubbard

Henny Youngman

"My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."
- Henny Youngman

Rudyard Kipling

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!?
- Rudyard Kipling

Unknown

A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it.
- Unknown

John Greenleaf Whittier

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’"
- John Greenleaf Whittier

Minna Antrim

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.
- Minna Antrim

William Butler Yeats

Those that I fight I do not hate, those that I guard I do not love.
- William Butler Yeats

Jean Anouilh

Propaganda is a soft weapon; hold it in your hands too long, and it will move about like a snake, and strike the other way.
- Jean Anouilh

G. Randolf

Pay as you go is the philosopher's stone.
- G. Randolf

Dejan Stojanovic

Nothing reminds us of an awakening more than rain.
- Dejan Stojanovic

Aristotle

There are some jobs in which it is impossible for a man to be virtuous.
- Aristotle

Robert Frost

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
- Robert Frost

H. L. Mencken

"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents more and more closely the inner soul of the people.  On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."
- H. L. Mencken

Cervantes

"Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world."
- Cervantes

Buddha

His success may be great, but be it ever so great the wheel of fortune may turn again and bring him down into the dust.
- Buddha

Helen Keller

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
- Helen Keller

Dorothea Brande

"To guarantee success, act as if it were impossible to fail."
- Dorothea Brande

Mignon McLaughlin

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.
- Mignon McLaughlin

C. S. Lewis

All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--[is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.
- C. S. Lewis

Bishop John Wilkins

Garner up pleasant thoughts in your mind, for pleasant thoughts make pleasant lives.
- Bishop John Wilkins

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

There is no crime of which I do not deem myself capable.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Chris Lyons

Jesus says, I love you just the way you are. And I love you too much to let you stay the way you are.
- Chris Lyons

Jim Rohn

Your philosophy determines whether you will go for the disciplines or continue the errors.
- Jim Rohn

Karl Marx

Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.
- Karl Marx

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Since when was genius found respectable?
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

G. K. Chesterton

"Beware of no man more than yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us."
- G. K. Chesterton

Bertrand Russell

"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf."
- Bertrand Russell

Mark Twain

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
- Mark Twain