Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

"About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt ax. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead."
- Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

Bert Leston Taylor

"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you."
- Bert Leston Taylor

Aldous Huxley

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."
- Aldous Huxley

Maryon Pearson

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson

Mother Teresa

"I'd rather bathe lepers than be interviewed by the press."
- Mother Teresa

Herodotus

"Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing."
- Herodotus

Jerry Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
- Jerry Seinfeld

Pope John XXIII

The feelings of my smallness and my nothingness always kept me good company.
- Pope John XXIII

Benjamin Franklin

A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave.
- Benjamin Franklin

H. L. Mencken

No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would
still give her a glow to see him commit suicide
for her.
- H. L. Mencken

Oscar Wilde

"Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
- Oscar Wilde

A. Whitney Brown

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."
-A. Whitney Brown

Warren Hutcherson

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
-Warren Hutcherson

Tom Wilson

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
-Tom Wilson

Paul Rodriguez

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
-Paul Rodriguez

Richard Jeni

"I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
-Richard Jeni

Lynda Montgomery

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner."
-Lynda Montgomery

Billy Conn

"What's the use of being Irish if you can't be stupid?"'
- Billy Conn

Conan O'Brien

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh"
-Conan O'Brien

Dave Barry

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
-Dave Barry

Drew Carey

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey

Paula Poundstone

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
-Paula Poundstone

Thomas A. Edison

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas A. Edison

George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
- George Carlin

Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
- Mark Twain

Muhammad Ali

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
- Muhammad Ali

Albert Einstein

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein

Bill Mauldin

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
- Bill Mauldin

Jewish quote

"It's not how much or how little you have that makes you great or small, but how much or how little you are with what you have."

- Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch

Saint Augustine

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine

Differences

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Elayne Boosler

Quote of The Day

Quote of The Day

John J Sullivan has been posting Daily Quotes on his website for several years.

He recently (August 1, 2006) moved his Quote of the Day to a weblog to make it a bit easier to post and maintain the quotes and to provide an archive of all of the future quotes.

John is a long time member of the Famous Quotes Mailing List