Oscar Levant

"There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side."
- Oscar Levant

Frank Sinatra

Here's to the confusion of our enemies!
- Frank Sinatra

William Butler Yeats

Education is not filling a pail, but lighting a fire.

- William Butler Yeats

Heinrich Heine

I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.
- Heinrich Heine (1797-1856) German poet

Marilyn Monroe

Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul.
- Marilyn Monroe

Ambrose Bierce

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
- Ambrose Bierce

Al Capp

The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else was to be indifferent to that difference.
- Al Capp

Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
- Groucho Marx

Lenny Bruce

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.
- Lenny Bruce

Oscar Wilde

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Lucille S. Harper

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper

Abraham Lincoln

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

Socrates

"I do nothing but go about persuading you all, old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons or your properties, but and chiefly to care about the greatest improvement of the soul. I tell you that virtue is not given by money, but that from virtue comes money and every other good of man, public as well as private. This is my teaching, and if this is the doctrine which corrupts the youth, I am a mischievous person."
- Socrates

William Blake

"What is now proved was once only imagined."
- William Blake

Yoko Ono

"Spring passes and we remember our innocence. Summer passes and we remember our exuberance. Autumn passes and we remember our reverence. Winter passes and we remember our perseverance."
- Yoko Ono

Deepak Chopra

"There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle."
- Deepak Chopra

Thomas Jefferson

"Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it."
- Thomas Jefferson

Jack Handey

"The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face."
- Jack Handey

Steve Pavlina

"If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks."
- Steve Pavlina

George Bernard Shaw

People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

John Burroughs

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame someone else.
- John Burroughs

John Flood

After telling a friend who lives back East that 100 degrees in Arizona is warm, but not really terribly uncomfortable, he replied: "Spoken Like a true REPTILE!"
- John Flood

Robert Frost

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
- Robert Frost

Harrison Ford

If you're asking me to acknowledge that I've gotten older, I can do that.
- Harrison Ford

Gandhi

Be the change that you want to see in the world.
- Gandhi

Epictetus

He is a man of sense who does not grieve for what he has not, but rejoices in what he has.
- Epictetus

P. J. O'Rourke

America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
- P. J. O'Rourke

John Adams

As much as I converse with sages and heroes, they have very little of my love and admiration. I long for rural and domestic scene, for the warbling of birds and the prattling of my children.
- John Adams

Mark Twain

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
- Mark Twain