Charlotte Bronte

Conventionality is not morality.
- Charlotte Bronte

Alfred Hitchcock

In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Emma Goldman

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
- Emma Goldman

Bill Watterson

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
- Bill Watterson

Fats Domino

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."
- Fats Domino

Douglas Adams

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
- Douglas Adams

Peter de Vries

"Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked."
- Peter de Vries

Buddha

I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done.
- Buddha

H. L. Mencken

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.
- H. L. Mencken

George Herbert

He that will learn to pray, let him go to sea.
- George Herbert

Rachel Carson

No witchcraft, no enemy action had silenced the rebirth of new life in this stricken world. The people had done it themselves.
- Rachel Carson

Honore De Balzac

Passion is universal humanity. Without it religion, history, romance and art would be useless.
- Honore De Balzac

Tao Te Ching

The best leaders are those the people hardly know exist. The next best is a leader who is loved and praised. Next comes the one who is feared.
The worst one is the leader that is despised.
- Tao Te Ching

John F. Kennedy

We have had our failures, but so have others, even if they do not admit them. And they may be less public.
- John F. Kennedy

Henry S. Haskins

The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.
- Henry S. Haskins

Solon

In giving advice seek to help, not to please, your friend.
- Solon

Clint Eastwood

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
- Clint Eastwood

Marilyn Monroe

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
- Marilyn Monroe

Stephen Leacock

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock

Plato

No evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.
- Plato

Admiral Grace Hopper

If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it. It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.
- Admiral Grace Hopper

Jeff Foxworthy

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Robert Orben

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
- Robert Orben

Will Rogers

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
- Will Rogers

Oscar Wilde

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.
- Oscar Wilde

George Carlin

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
- George Carlin

Confucius

He who will not economize will have to agonize.
- Confucius

George Bernard Shaw

I am a Christian. That obliges me to be a Communist.
- George Bernard Shaw

Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

Albert Einstein

God always takes the simplest way.
- Albert Einstein

Mark Twain

Poor old Methuselah, how did he manage to stand it so long?
- Mark Twain