Lily Tomlin

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them."
- Lily Tomlin

Frank Lloyd Wright

"Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities."
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Fran Lebowitz

"I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota."
- Fran Lebowitz

Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

He who has done his best for his own time has lived for all times.
- Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

John Ruskin

What distinguishes a great artist from a weak one is first their sensibility and tenderness; second, their imagination, and third, their industry.
- John Ruskin

Konstantin Stanislavisky

Unless the theatre can ennoble you, make you a better person, you should flee from it.
- Konstantin Stanislavisky

Charles Horton Cooley

The imaginations which people have of one another are the solid facts of society.
- Charles Horton Cooley

Elizabeth Bowen

Silences have a climax, when you have got to speak.
- Elizabeth Bowen

Lyndon Johnson

If government is to serve any purpose it is to do for others what they are unable to do for themselves.
- Lyndon Johnson

Wayne Pearson

This is my first drink today ... and that other one I had earlier ... that was my first drink today too.
- Wayne Pearson

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ludwig Borne

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
- Ludwig Borne

Marya Mannes

In our society those who are in reality superior in intelligence can be accepted by their fellows only if they pretend they are not.
- Marya Mannes

H. L. Mencken

Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
- H. L. Mencken

Yogi Berra

I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question.
- Yogi Berra

Laurence J. Peter

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
- Laurence J. Peter

P. J. O'Rourke

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Lou Holtz

"Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger."
- Lou Holtz

Ambrose Bierce

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
- Ambrose Bierce

Robert Orben

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
- Robert Orben

George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Plato

The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his hearers of his own assertions.
- Plato

Tao Te Ching

I am different from ordinary people. I nurse from the Great Mother's breasts.
- Tao Te Ching

Confucius

If we don't know life, how can we know death?
- Confucius

Buddha

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
- Buddha

Woody Allen

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
- Woody Allen

Albert Einstein

Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

Ellen Degeneres

I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."
- Ellen Degeneres

Winston Churchill

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
- Winston Churchill

George Bernard Shaw

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.
- George Bernard Shaw

Mark Twain

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.
- Mark Twain