Doug Larson

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
- Doug Larson

Certain things, if not seen as lovely or detestable, are not being correctly seen at all.

Jay London

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
- Jay London

Ben Stein

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."
- Ben Stein

Albert Schweitzer

Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly if they even roll a few more upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Jackie Mason

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason

Joseph A. Schumpeter

Capitalism inevitably and by virtue of the very logic of its civilization creates, educates and subsidizes a vested interest in social unrest.
- Joseph A. Schumpeter

Wayne Dyer

Prosperity in the form of wealth works exactly the same as everything else. You will see it coming into your life when you are unattached to needing it.
- Wayne Dyer

Bertrand Russell

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
- Bertrand Russell

Tom Lehrer

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
- Tom Lehrer

H. L. Mencken

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
- H. L. Mencken

I. F. Stone

"If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had."
- I. F. Stone

David Sedaris

"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it."
- David Sedaris

William S. Burroughs

Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs

Reginald Burton

"I decided some time ago that I preferred happiness to wealth." 
- Reggie Burton

Carl Sandburg

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
- Carl Sandburg

Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Henny Youngman

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
- Henny Youngman

Ambrose Bierce

Cynic: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
- Ambrose Bierce

Woodrow Wilson

"The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
- Woodrow Wilson

John F. Kennedy

Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried, not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed. It conducts the Cold War, in short, with a war-time discipline no democracy would ever hope or wish to match.
- John F. Kennedy

Curtis Carlson

I consider a goal as a journey rather than a destination. And each year I set a new goal.
- Curtis Carlson

Lao Tzu

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.
- Lao Tzu

Buddha

Friendship is the only cure for hatred, the only guarantee of peace.
- Buddha

George Bernard Shaw

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.
- George Bernard Shaw

Oscar Wilde

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Oscar Wilde

Confucius

He who will not economize will have to agonize.
- Confucius

Albert Einstein

Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple, and may, as a rule, be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone.
- Albert Einstein

Plato

Laws are partly formed for the sake of good men, in order to instruct them how they may live on friendly terms with one another, and partly for the sake of those who refuse to be instructed, whose spirit cannot be subdued, or softened, or hindered from plunging into evil.
- Plato

Woody Allen

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

Winston Churchill

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

Mark Twain

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
- Mark Twain