Steve Martin

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
- Steve Martin

Hodding Carter

"Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone."
- Hodding Carter

John Kenneth Galbraith

"Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable."
- John Kenneth Galbraith

OJ Simpson

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, thats the day you start to the top.
- OJ Simpson

James Abram Garfield

I have had many troubles in my life, but the worst of them never came.
- James Abram Garfield

Mitch Hedberg

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
- Mitch Hedberg

Lee Grant

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.
- Lee Grant

Ivy Baker Priest

We women don't care too much about getting our pictures on money as long as we can get our hands on it.
- Ivy Baker Priest

Samuel Goldwyn

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
- Samuel Goldwyn

Sir Isaac Newton

To myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself and now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
- Sir Isaac Newton

Harrison Ford

I don't think I've mastered anything. I'm still wrestling with the same frustrations, the same issues, the same problems as I always did. That's what life is like.
- Harrison Ford

Harold Rosenberg

American time has stretched around the world. It has become the dominant tempo of modern history, especially of the history of Europe.
- Harold Rosenberg

Catherine de Hueck Doherty

With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing."
- Catherine de Hueck Doherty

Michael Sullivan

Politics is for professionals, for the rest of us it is merely a topic for conversation.
- Michael Sullivan

Tao Te Ching

Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine: and become a watershed to the world. If you embrace the world, the Tao will never leave you and you become as a little child.
- Tao Te Ching

William Henry Harrison

A decent and manly examination of the acts of the Government should be not only tolerated, but encouraged.
- William Henry Harrison

H. L. Mencken

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
- H. L. Mencken

Robert Orben

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
- Robert Orben

Ambrose Bierce

Wedding: A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
- Ambrose Bierce

George Bernard Shaw

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw

Buddha

The world, indeed, is like a dream and the treasures of the world are an alluring mirage! Like the apparent distances in a picture, things have no reality in themselves, but they are like heat haze.
- Buddha

Plato

He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden.
- Plato

Ellen Degeneres

Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - too busy disorder.
- Ellen Degeneres

Will Rogers

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Will Rogers

Confucius

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius

John F. Kennedy

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
- John F. Kennedy

Walt Disney

A man should never neglect his family for business.
- Walt Disney

Albert Einstein

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.
- Albert Einstein

Winston Churchill

War is mainly a catalogue of blunders.
- Winston Churchill

Oscar Wilde

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
- Oscar Wilde

Mark Twain

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
- Mark Twain