A. J. Liebling

The function of the press in society is to inform, but its role in society is to make money.
- A. J. Liebling

Benjamin Franklin

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."
- Benjamin Franklin

Alfred Hitchcock

"Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it."
- Alfred Hitchcock

Douglas Adams

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
- Douglas Adams

The Dhammapada

“Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone.”
- The Dhammapada

Samuel Goldwyn

"I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it."
- Samuel Goldwyn

George Bernard Shaw

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
- George Bernard Shaw

Richard Bach

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.
- Richard Bach

Ambrose Bierce

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
- Ambrose Bierce

Ali Ries

Customers want brands that are narrow in scope and distinguishable by a single word, the shorter the better.
- Ali Ries

L. Frank Baum

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- L. Frank Baum

William Shakespeare

“Have more than thou showest, speak less than thouh knowest, lend less than thou owest.”
- William Shakespeare, Macbeth (1564-1616)

Spiro T. Agnew

Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer.
- Spiro T. Agnew

Buddha

We are the same as plants, as trees, as other people, as the rain that falls. We consist of that which is around us, we are the same as everything.
- Buddha

Socrates

I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled [poets] to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates

Yogi Berra

We're lost, but we're making great time!
- Yogi Berra

Stephen Hawking

“To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.”
- Stephen Hawking (1942 - )

P. B. Medawar

"The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it."
- P. B. Medawar

Joseph Baretti

"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am."
- Joseph Baretti

H. L. Mencken

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine
- H. L. Mencken

Jane Austen

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.
- Jane Austen

Albert Einstein

Common sense is nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down by the mind before you reach eighteen.
- Albert Einstein

Jerry Seinfeld

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
- Jerry Seinfeld

Lyndon B. Johnson

"If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim"."
- Lyndon B. Johnson

Henry Ford

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
- Henry Ford

George Burns

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
- George Burns

Aristotle

He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god.
- Aristotle

Dave Barry

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
- Dave Barry

Howard Aiken

“Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.”
- Howard Aiken (1900 - 1973)

Oscar Wilde

“The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing. Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.”
- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

Mark Twain

The English, the arrogant nation. The Americans the material nation, the Germans the patient nation, the Russians the unclassifiable nation, the French the volatile nation, the Scotch the thrifty nation, the Italians the hot-blooded kind-hearted nation, the Irish the nation of chaste women.
- Mark Twain