H. L. Mencken

 When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before. 

- H. L. Mencken

Oscar Levant

 Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. 

- Oscar Levant

Menander

 Culture makes all men gentle. 

- Menander

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

 Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. 

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Jules Renard

 Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 

- Jules Renard

Marilyn vos Savant

 Teens think listening to music helps them concentrate. It doesn't. It relieves them of the boredom that concentration on homework induces. 

- Marilyn vos Savant

Ray Bradbury

 You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. 

- Ray Bradbury

Washington Irving

 Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them. 

- Washington Irving

William Arthur Ward

 Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them. 

- William Arthur Ward

Og Mandino

 I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. 

- Og Mandino

Henny Youngman

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' 

- Henny Youngman

Mel Gibson

 The thing we're all looking for is happiness, and if we achieve just a modicum of that or even a little piece of serenity even for five minutes a day, we're very lucky. 

- Mel Gibson

Ernest Hemingway

 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. 

- Ernest Hemingway

Fulton J. Sheen

 Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. 

- Fulton J. Sheen

Liam Neeson

 It's extraordinary to look into a baby's face and see a piece of your flesh and your spirit. It makes you realize you are a part of the human race. 

- Liam Neeson

Thor Heyerdahl

 Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. 

- Thor Heyerdahl

Theodore Roosevelt

 If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. 

- Theodore Roosevelt

Mitch Hedberg

 My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. 

- Mitch Hedberg

Colin Powell

 There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. 

- Colin Powell

Henry Clay

 Statistics are no substitute for judgment. 

- Henry Clay

John C. Calhoun

 There is a tendency in all parties, when they have been for a long time in possession of power, to augment it. 

- John C. Calhoun

Henry Kissinger

 You can't make war in the Middle East without Egypt and you can't make peace without Syria. 

- Henry Kissinger

Winston Churchil

 The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. 

- Winston Churchil

Lewis Carroll

 If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. 

- Lewis Carroll

Sophocles

 Wisdom outweighs any wealth. 

Sophocles

Clarence Darrow

 I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of. 

- Clarence Darrow

Lana Turner

 A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. 

- Lana Turner

Isaac Asimov

 Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. 

- Isaac Asimov

Thomas Sowell

 The word 'racism' is like ketchup. It can be put on practically anything - and demanding evidence makes you a 'racist.' 

- Thomas Sowell

Arthur Miller

 I have made more friends for American culture than the State Department. Certainly I have made fewer enemies, but that isn't very difficult. 

- Arthur Miller

Mark Twain

 It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive. 

- Mark Twain