Mark Twain

 Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. 

- Mark Twain

H. L. Mencken

 When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before. 

- H. L. Mencken

Oscar Levant

 Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. 

- Oscar Levant

Menander

 Culture makes all men gentle. 

- Menander

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

 Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. 

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Jules Renard

 Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 

- Jules Renard

Marilyn vos Savant

 Teens think listening to music helps them concentrate. It doesn't. It relieves them of the boredom that concentration on homework induces. 

- Marilyn vos Savant

Ray Bradbury

 You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. 

- Ray Bradbury

Washington Irving

 Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them. 

- Washington Irving

William Arthur Ward

 Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them. 

- William Arthur Ward

Og Mandino

 I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. 

- Og Mandino

Henny Youngman

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' 

- Henny Youngman

Mel Gibson

 The thing we're all looking for is happiness, and if we achieve just a modicum of that or even a little piece of serenity even for five minutes a day, we're very lucky. 

- Mel Gibson

Ernest Hemingway

 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. 

- Ernest Hemingway

Fulton J. Sheen

 Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. 

- Fulton J. Sheen