Henny Youngman

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' 

- Henny Youngman

Mel Gibson

 The thing we're all looking for is happiness, and if we achieve just a modicum of that or even a little piece of serenity even for five minutes a day, we're very lucky. 

- Mel Gibson

Ernest Hemingway

 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. 

- Ernest Hemingway

Fulton J. Sheen

 Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. 

- Fulton J. Sheen

Liam Neeson

 It's extraordinary to look into a baby's face and see a piece of your flesh and your spirit. It makes you realize you are a part of the human race. 

- Liam Neeson

Thor Heyerdahl

 Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. 

- Thor Heyerdahl

Theodore Roosevelt

 If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. 

- Theodore Roosevelt

Mitch Hedberg

 My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. 

- Mitch Hedberg

Colin Powell

 There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. 

- Colin Powell

Henry Clay

 Statistics are no substitute for judgment. 

- Henry Clay

John C. Calhoun

 There is a tendency in all parties, when they have been for a long time in possession of power, to augment it. 

- John C. Calhoun

Henry Kissinger

 You can't make war in the Middle East without Egypt and you can't make peace without Syria. 

- Henry Kissinger

Winston Churchil

 The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. 

- Winston Churchil

Lewis Carroll

 If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there. 

- Lewis Carroll

Sophocles

 Wisdom outweighs any wealth. 

Sophocles