George Bernard Shaw

 Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. 

- George Bernard Shaw

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

 One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Walter Winchell

 A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. 

- Walter Winchell

Jim Rohn

 Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. 

- Jim Rohn

Plautus

 Not by age but by capacity is wisdom acquired. 

- Plautus

H. L. Mencken

 A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

- H. L. Mencken

Michael Caine

 I learned about life before I went into the theater, which is why I've been so happy. I was a soldier. 

- Michael Caine

Ambrose Bierce

 Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient. 

- Ambrose Bierce

John Kennedy

 Let me state the obvious. Illegal immigration is illegal, duh. 

- John Kennedy

Mark Twain

 All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. 

- Mark Twain

Galileo Galilei

 We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves. 

- Galileo Galilei

Dolly Parton

 We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

- Dolly Parton

Thomas Jefferson

 When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. 

- Thomas Jefferson

Saint Augustine

 This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections. 

- Saint Augustine

Clarence Darrow

 The trouble with law is lawyers. 

- Clarence Darrow