Andy Rooney

 If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. 

- Andy Rooney

Albert Einstein

 There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.  Albert Einstein

Henry Miller

 One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things. 

- Henry Miller

Charlie Chaplin

 The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury. 

- Charlie Chaplin

John Wesley

 Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. 

- John Wesley

Saint Augustine

 Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. 

- Saint Augustine

John F. Kennedy Jr.

 I have a slight contrarian impulse I can't seem to shake.

- John F. Kennedy Jr.

Emily Dickinson

 Fortune befriends the bold. 

- Emily Dickinson

Honore de Balzac

 The man as he converses is the lover; silent, he is the husband.

- Honore de Balzac

Elinor Smith

 It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. 

- Elinor Smith

Charlotte Rampling

 I think that most actors don't have very good opinions of themselves. 

- Charlotte Rampling

Michael Caine

 Do I believe in God? Yes I do. When you've had a life like mine, you have to. 

- Michael Caine

Plautus

 No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. 

- Plautus

Cyrano de Bergerac

 A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

- Cyrano de Bergerac

George Bernard Shaw

 No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means. 

- George Bernard Shaw

George Carlin

 When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. 

- George Carlin

H. L. Mencken

 If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. 

- H. L. Mencken

Lewis Black

 I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet. 

- Lewis Black

Clarence Darrow

 I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. 

- Clarence Darrow

John Kennedy

 Power does not change you, it unmasks you. 

- John Kennedy

Ambrose Bierce

 Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. 

- Ambrose Bierce

Nat King Cole

 The whites come to applaud a Negro performer just like the colored do. When you've got the respect of white and colored, you can ease a lot of things. 

- Nat King Cole

Wernher von Braun

 Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. 

- Wernher von Braun

Albert Schweitzer

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

- Albert Schweitzer

Harry S Truman

 It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

- Harry S Truman

Wayne Gretzky

 You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 

- Wayne Gretzky

Theodore Roosevelt

 No people is wholly civilized where a distinction is drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse. 

- Theodore Roosevelt

Galileo Galilei

 All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. 

- Galileo Galilei

Kurt Vonnegut

 The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. 

- Kurt Vonnegut

Henny Youngman

 You have a nice personality, but not for a human being. 

- Henny Youngman

Thomas Jefferson

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. 

- Thomas Jefferson

Harvey Fierstein

 Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. 

- Harvey Fierstein

Aristotle

 Homer has taught all other poets the art of telling lies skillfully. 

- Aristotle

Mark Twain

 Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. 

- Mark Twain